The Pinnacle of Happiness
Yesterday I was able to talk to two of my closest friends on the phone. Yes, I used that strange app that doesn't make you type out words nor wait for any amount of time to get a response. It was as if it were a real conversation in real time. Pretty neat app.
The way these conversations played out was quite interesting. After I had finished with my class for the night, I was on my way home and felt discomfort in my soul. I had a conversation that morning with a friend about peace and its attainability so I thought I would reach out to that friend and pick his brain a bit.
Over the course of that conversation there were two ideas that really stood out:
1. Focus on the things you can control
2. Find the positive moments in every day
Not long after my conversation with that friend had ended, I got a call from another friend who was rather frustrated with some of the situations that she has found herself in. Having just had a similar conversation with the first friend, I found that I was able to relay that wisdom to the frustrated friend which cemented those principles in my mind.
And now I share with you.
What do you control?
So much of what I find myself doing on a daily basis is rather routine. They are things that I have to do. But what is my perspective of why I am doing it? Here is an example. I always try my hardest at my job to do things the right way all the time. Why do I try my hardest? Mainly because I do not want to be yelled at and I want others to praise me. My focus is in the wrong place.
With my job I have been looking at what others think and say and then measuring my successes and failures off of their reactions. I cannot control their reactions. I could be doing my best and do everything right and still not please them. Why does that have to ruin my mood? It doesn't. So today when I went into work, I focused on myself. I still did my best but I was more aware of my own feelings on how I was doing. I knew when I did something good and I knew when I did something that was...well, a learning experience. I was able to accurately perceive my personal value and it made a difference.
What are the positives?
So many days in recent months have felt like they have been nothing but bad news after poor performance after bad news all while not being able to be focused because of a variety of different events or non-events that are happening in my life. But if I would have just found one positive thing in those days, it could have made a difference....and yes, there were positive things.
Take yesterday for instance. As I mentioned before, leaving my class my soul was in discontent. But when I look back, were there some positive things that happened during the day? Absolutely!!
I got to see some of my friends at work and although I wasn't in a happy mood, they still sought me out and made me feel wanted. In addition, that class that I went to was pretty fun. I never have homework for that class and the environment of the class it super relaxed. It was pretty stress free for me. That's a positive.
Although there weren't a ton of events that were positive the fact that some good things happened immediately helped me see my day in a different way. It wasn't as bad of a day as I had thought. I've still had better days, yes, but that doesn't mean it was horrible.
-------
All in all, I came to a realization that if I am ever going to reach a self-actualized pinnacle of happiness, then I need to start by becoming in tune with what I do during my day. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong.
Then I need to make a choice. What will I focus on?
Optimism and growth or how terrible some things in my life may be.
The way these conversations played out was quite interesting. After I had finished with my class for the night, I was on my way home and felt discomfort in my soul. I had a conversation that morning with a friend about peace and its attainability so I thought I would reach out to that friend and pick his brain a bit.
Over the course of that conversation there were two ideas that really stood out:
1. Focus on the things you can control
2. Find the positive moments in every day
Not long after my conversation with that friend had ended, I got a call from another friend who was rather frustrated with some of the situations that she has found herself in. Having just had a similar conversation with the first friend, I found that I was able to relay that wisdom to the frustrated friend which cemented those principles in my mind.
And now I share with you.
What do you control?
So much of what I find myself doing on a daily basis is rather routine. They are things that I have to do. But what is my perspective of why I am doing it? Here is an example. I always try my hardest at my job to do things the right way all the time. Why do I try my hardest? Mainly because I do not want to be yelled at and I want others to praise me. My focus is in the wrong place.
With my job I have been looking at what others think and say and then measuring my successes and failures off of their reactions. I cannot control their reactions. I could be doing my best and do everything right and still not please them. Why does that have to ruin my mood? It doesn't. So today when I went into work, I focused on myself. I still did my best but I was more aware of my own feelings on how I was doing. I knew when I did something good and I knew when I did something that was...well, a learning experience. I was able to accurately perceive my personal value and it made a difference.
What are the positives?
So many days in recent months have felt like they have been nothing but bad news after poor performance after bad news all while not being able to be focused because of a variety of different events or non-events that are happening in my life. But if I would have just found one positive thing in those days, it could have made a difference....and yes, there were positive things.
Take yesterday for instance. As I mentioned before, leaving my class my soul was in discontent. But when I look back, were there some positive things that happened during the day? Absolutely!!
I got to see some of my friends at work and although I wasn't in a happy mood, they still sought me out and made me feel wanted. In addition, that class that I went to was pretty fun. I never have homework for that class and the environment of the class it super relaxed. It was pretty stress free for me. That's a positive.
Although there weren't a ton of events that were positive the fact that some good things happened immediately helped me see my day in a different way. It wasn't as bad of a day as I had thought. I've still had better days, yes, but that doesn't mean it was horrible.
-------
All in all, I came to a realization that if I am ever going to reach a self-actualized pinnacle of happiness, then I need to start by becoming in tune with what I do during my day. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong.
Then I need to make a choice. What will I focus on?
Optimism and growth or how terrible some things in my life may be.
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